Author: chubbycurl34

Same old hair new year blues

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I had to trim my ends yesterday. It had to be done because I had a lot of split ends. It really bumed me out though because I’m doing the castor oil challenge and I feel like I cut off any length I had retained. On the other hand if I neglected to pay attention to my split ends I would probably loose length. I can’t win for losing. I really hope I get a big growth spirt like they say can happen when you trim your ends. You know who they are. The all knowing natural hair association. The group of naturals that are on every social media outlet that seem to be all knowing in everything hair. Well anyway I trimmed my ends and I styled my hair like I use to when I first went natural. I even bought some Sta-Sof-Fro like old time cause despite me using castor oil and other essential oils my hair dried out bad cause of the dry could weather. I just went back to the basics a little or where I started. I really hope I have a significant amout of growth by the summer. I’m thinking about doing twist again if I have time. I just need two days of nothing on my plate and it’s on. Happy New Year. What are some of your hair goals this year?

My Top 10 YouTubers of 2013

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My top 10 youtubers of 2013
This is my personal top ten list of the You Tubers that have influenced me in 2013. I’m an avid You Tube watcher and I will admit that I can lose an hour of my day catching up with my favorite channels.  So I decided to create this list of my top ten. This list is of the people that have influenced me one way or another this year. It was very hard for me to pick just ten so I’ve added an honorable mention list towards the end. When I start posting my own videos again this year I hope I will be able to make as strong an impression as theses talented ladies.   
10. FusionofCultures:  I stumbled upon this fabulous natural hair vlogger  two years ago when I was trying to find tutorials on better natural styles. I had been natural for a while and the only styles I had mastered were two strand twists, flat twist, Afro puffs, and my awesome Fro-Hawk. A friend of mine that favored relaxed hair made a statement that natural hair was not styleable,  could not look professional in the work place, and was a juvenile hair choice that looked silly on the over 30 set. I decided I was going to prove her wrong, and in my search for fresh new styles I stumbled upon Laila Jean’s channel and creative hair tutorial. I think she taught me my second pinup protective style and helped me realize natural hair is more versatile then most people know.  Check out one of her latest pinup styles here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vd2E7wcKYJc&feature=share&list=UUFmyUZdaKfHgNZ2dSuLwwcA

9. Andrea Lewis: Ok so I use to watch degrassi the next generation the secrets out. I know I was an adult when the show aired, but in my defense I use to watch the original Degrassi when I was a kid and they reeled me in with the whole baby Emma going to Junior high now. When I watched the show I really liked Andreas character Hazel. I liked her so much when they phased her character out I made a point to keep up with her on line. I first found here on youtube when she was doing Those Girls Are Wild with her friend Shannon. I always enjoyed watching her music and there fun video’s.   Since then they have separated and Andrea has gone on to accomplish her dream of creating, producing, and staring in her own youtube show Black Actress. On her personal channel she gives a lot of advice with her Self Love Saturday videos.  She’s really inspiring and positive person to watch.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHr1QkzuriQ&feature=share

8. AndreasChoice: This girl is just loads of fun. I love her videos because the editing is phenomenal. She’s really creative with DIY’s, hair, and makeup. Her energy is really happy and positive. I tend to float towards people that are positive and upbeat so I also do that when watching You Tube. I always feel like if I watch one of her videos at the beginning of the day I’m more upbeat and energized. The first video I watched of Andrea’s was how to lighten your hair with honey. I was searching online trying to find a natural way to dye my hair. Andrea has African American in her heritage so I figured this could work for me too. Check out the video here. http://youtu.be/ddY6mHt0Lzo

7. My Natural Sistas: These sisters are real life sisters that truly know what they are doing. I first came across their channel because of the wedding video of India & Lillo. They made me throw out any ideas I had for my wedding and model my wedding ideas after there’s. It was just so beautiful I couldn’t help it. The sisters have a wide range of videos on natural hair for long, medium, short, and color treated. They have health and nutrition videos and one of the sisters Carmen is a Certified Personal Trainer! If you are in the Huston Texas area you should check her out. I would but I’m stuck here in Chi-raq so hopefully I will lose weight dodging bullets… I kid, I kid.  Check out this awesome smoothie video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNJSIGWgAgk&feature=share&list=PL7cKSUvItjmxvkRmopw_5QQgOErWXz4kX

6. Communitychannel: Natalie Tran is one of the funniest people I have every come across in my entire 32 years of life. I’m just going to let her videos speak for themselves. http://youtu.be/zRyf23boUO4

5. Shameless Maya: She has the confidence I wish I had. I know it’s in me. Maya wasn’t always shameless too she had to push herself out there. For a year Maya made herself push beyond her fears and came out the other end a stronger person she’s a real inspiration.  I first heard about Shameless Maya through Andrea Lewis channel. They were doing the shameless promotion segment and asked others to shameless promote what they do and their video would be featured on those girls are wild channel.  Maya’s videos have some of the best editing I’ve ever seen on You Tube. Good editing is a must for me to watch most You Tube videos and often a deal breaker. Maya covers every topic you could think of. I got to meet up with her in the Chi before work. She’s Just a warm kind person to be in the presence of. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXweKDgxwXE&feature=share&list=UUKMqrQHftdwuLPkK1nveVfw&index=2

4. Toyaboo: The first time I watched a Toyaboo video she made me cry. I became a fan from then on. She was talking about her struggles with hair and her natural hair Journey and she was just so honest and real that I had to keep up with her and her growth. Today she is a confident and happy actress that just moved to L.A. to further pursue her acting. She uses to reside in Chicago where I’m from and we use to work right across the street from each other. I never formally introduced myself to her, even though we passed each other on the street a bunch of times. I always punked out. Once I sent her a message asking her to do my makeup for my wedding, but she had another engagement out of town. I think really highly of her and I always felt that if we met we would be friends.  I think her genuine honesty is what keeps me watching all of her You Tube channels about hair, fitness, and life. http://youtu.be/IR70oe5-uFo

3. Issa Rae: everyone knows about all the accomplishments Issa Rae has made in a short period of time. I first became a fan of the series the misadventures of awkward black girl. Since then she has brought us a multitude of exceptional black programming to You Tube. What Issa is doing is very important. Regular TV was lacking programming that showed African Americans as we are complex human. We are just like everyone else with the same problems. She’s making more opportunities and opening more doors for Black people. Plus her shows are relatable to anybody from any background.   http://youtu.be/kmFHRgl2pek
 

2. Naptural85 aka DearNaptural85 aka StyleByNap85: Ya’ll know I love me some Miss Whitney. Nobody better say anything bad about Miss Whitney or I might have a fit. That’s my girl for real. I love everything she does from hair style tutorials, Lifestyle blogs, cooking for her adorable family and most recently DIY’s. Her daughter Olivia is so cute. A lot of things she’s done for her daughter I’ve passed on to my sister.  My sister does not have time to watch her videos and she says they are way too long but seeing as she has 367,759 viewers on her Naptural85 channel alone I don’t think too many people are complaining.   http://youtu.be/xWlnrc2cDno

1. Talia Joy Castellano: Talia was sent by God to bring awareness to childhood cancer. She was wise beyond her years and very special. It hurt me so much when she started to transition into the next life and passed away on July 16th this year. She was very strong and positive despite what she was going through. She was always smiling and making goofy faces. Whenever I felt like I was having the worst day I would see one of her videos and she would be smiling it up. She was going through a lot of pain and sickness, depression and loss. Loss of a normal childhood outside of a hospital bed, and loss of her other friends she had met suffering from the same illness. Talia shined like a light despite her problems and her smile would make all your sadness melts away. I’m really going to miss her, but I know she’s an angle watching over us in heaven and I will see her again. Here is the first video of Talia’s that I ever watched. I clicked on it because I wanted to know why that little kid had a bald head. I knew about childhood cancer but it was something about that pic that drew to me. http://youtu.be/rZ5-vxzx3dY

Honorable Mention List

1.)    Chloe and Halle http://youtu.be/uPwuduhx0vw

2.)    Beautifulbrwnbabydol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jilHeH6jZgQ&feature=share&list=PLAA6164BC182E2479&index=1

3.)    MOAMNETWORK  http://youtu.be/qAANuWIE2_k

4.)    Whoissugar http://youtu.be/oPTxknqoIDY

5.)    Tracee Ellis Ross http://youtu.be/xBnLrzdd6Nk

Hair updates

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment
It’s been a while and I wanted to update you all on how things are going with my hair. Things are good so far. My hair feels healthy, and it’s very shinny.  I’m still trying not to be such a product junky. It’s really heard for me because I always want to try what’s new even if what I’m using is working fine. I’ve been trying to buy less products for my hair because, well I’m broke for one. I just got married and finances are still very shaky.  Another reason is I want more of a consistent regiment. I had some trouble in the past and I think it was because I was introducing to many things to my hair at once.
     So far I’ve been using oils in my hair that are good for growth household products like Greek yogurt, and honey, and anything I have left over to start clearing them out. I started using palmers coconut oil again and I can say with out a shadow of a doubt that it’s is causing the dandruff problem. It’s been months since I used it and the itching and dandruff flared right on up again. I want to use it up to get my money’s worth but I might just throw it out cause as I’m writing this I’m stopping to scratch. Not cool! 
     
     I also was bad and bought something from the dollar store. I picked up Aunt Jackie’s knot on my watch instant detangler. I like it so far even though I only used it once. It really detangled my hair even after I had it in twist for like 2 weeks or more. Usually it takes forever to get through my hair after leaving twist in a lengthy time period, but I was through my hair in like 30 min or so. I’m impressed I have to admit. One problem though is that I got it at dollar deals and I have know idea what other retailer carry’s it. It smells good too. 
   I also got some edge pomade by ice cause the one I made from scratch with castor oil and hair gel was a fail. If I wasn’t so lazy I would make some flack seed gel. Flack seeds are also pretty pricy. I was looking into it for smoothie purposes also and I can’t spend that much on such a small bag. Maybe I will come across it in bulk.
   Last but not least I may have stumbled onto something good or bad I’m not sure yet so don’t try it till I figure it out. Seriously I really don’t want to hear any you gave bad advice and my hair fell out stories. Ok so before I wash my hair lately I’ve been spraying it with apple cider vinegar mixed with water. It was really helping get that product build up off my scalp when I left styles in a long time. It also helped eliminate that pesky dandruff situation. 
   One day I added 4 drops of peppermint oil to cutout the smell cause that stuff stinks. It started tingling at fist then the tingle turned into a stinging and my shower was hot and the peppermint started chocking me. I washed it out right away of course cause I thought I had made a bad mistake. Afterward my curls seemed a little looser then normal, but my hair was more manageable. Before I used the mixture I also deep conditioned with coconut milk and honey so that also could have been why my hair changed. 
     Later on I read something about lemon juice I forgot what it was but I got it in my head that it would be good for my hair. So I added it to the ACV water peppermint oil mixture and it tingled but did not sting or choke me. Afterwards my hair was more manageable but my curl was still the same maybe slightly looser but not that noticeable. My hair was also browner on the parts that was dyed back during my wedding. I know lemon juice can dye your hair, and so can honey so maybe that’s why. 
    Here’s the awesome part. My denman brush is always dirty and I can’t seem to get it or any of my combs clean. It melted that dirt right off. It even got it out the hard to reach crevices on my combs. I’m not sure I will keep using this mixture when I wash my hair but I will use it to clean my styling tools. 
Some of the things I’ve been using in my hair lately is apricot oil, jojoba oil, coconut oil, castor oil, olive oil, Shea butter mixture. I also spray my hair with Aloe Vera juice whenever it feels dry.
    If u want to keep up with what my hair is doing in more picture forms check out my Facebook or Instagram page of the same name. I usually post a pic every time I change my hair or try some new stuff on it. I also have 2 awesome Pinterest boards dedicated to natural hair and products.  Look me up you won’t regret it. 

Oils, my coils,cuts and stuff. Just my thoughts and hair updates

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment
So I’ve been experimenting with my hair a little & doing some research. I’m thinking of purchasing some jojoba oil, avocado oil and almond oil. I already got some castor oil. 
    I only used the castor oil once. It’s really thick and it maid my hair a little sticky. This makes me think I must have used to much. 
   Today my scalp started itching a lot. This brought to my attention that the dandruff problem had stopped and I didn’t even notice. I must have been doing something right. Now it’s itching again from the castor oil I think. Next time I will have a lighter hand when applying that stuff. 
    
   I’m going to stick with oils and making my own stuff for a while. With the exception of design essentials. I really like it a lot. It makes my hair do things I want without being stiff or sticky. I’m not going to lie though it’s pricy to me. However most natural hair products out there are pricy to me these days. 
   I still have that sore spot on my scalp. My friend Jen sent me some good info I’m going to do some more research on. Im also researching biotin. I’m really trying to grow my hair as well as keep it health and some says that this does the trick. I’m still skeptical about it. You can’t believe everything you see online. 
I think the cause of my soreness might be from to much manipulation styles or to much pulling. Either that or I’m still having an allergic reaction to something.  
   I have really bad food allergies. Some things can even kill me. So if I use a product with all natural stuff in it like nuts or something else it could cause irritation. One problem is that even when I don’t do my hair and leave it out it still gets really sore.
   I don’t know what’s going on but I know it’s growing cause I can see my un-dyed roots and they are getting long. I’m going to try to clip my own ends more. I only did it once and my hair grew like crazy then. After that I was to scared I would cut to much so I stooped.   
   The stylist that did my hair for the wedding said every 8 weeks. Needless to say I did a double take. Online everyone has their theories fro every 6 weeks, 3 weeks to just doing search and destroy. I really think searching everyday for split ends to clip is tedious and time consuming. 
Anyway my hair is in my version of Laila’s braided up do that’s featured on her YouTube Chanel. My friend Jen was wondering how to do protective styles like hers on shorter hair. So I decided to give it a try.   
  It’s a little more difficult to do protective styles on short or medium length hair. I remember when the stylist fist cut my hair I couldn’t do any if my go to styles. I still can’t do half of them. So I did a lot of twist outs and twist styles. I researched new styles on YouTube and Pinterest.  
  My Pinterest board natural hair styles has over 350 styles and products pinned. I get at least 20 notifications a day that someone has followed that board. You should check it out when you have the time. http://www.pinterest.com/mwade81/natural-hair-styles/

How do you tell your parents or in-laws to abide by your hair rules with your children?

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So most people that know me well know my mother hates me and my sister’s natural hair. When we both went on our perspective natural hair journeys she told us we lost our beauty when we big chopped. She also said that we will never find a man or get a good job. Then when I started dating my husband and I told her he likes my hair she laughed in my face and told me he was just saying that to get me in the sack. He couldn’t possibly like my real hair. Even though we are married now she still thinks he’s lying about liking my hair. So one day we were having a conversation about kids and she said you’re going to perm your kid’s hair right? I told her no. She got upset and said I should force my kids to have a hard life. I told her they will be fine. Then she said half jokingly. “Well if I ever get to keep your daughter for the night I will get her a perm when you’re not around.” I said mom you’re not serious right? To this day I’m still not sure if she was joking. I kept saying if I ever have a girl it’s my child and I alone decide what her hair does till she’s old enough to make that decision. But my mother seemed to not understand that. Now fast forward some years later and my married big sister has a daughter. Watching her relationship with her in-laws has raised some new questions for me. How do you relay a message without ruffling feathers or starting a argument with the in-laws regarding your child’s hair care. Now my sister is really strict about what my niece eats and what diapers she wears but when it comes to the in laws she just let’s stuff go because if it makes them mad it makes her husband mad. It’s a really delicate situation. If I put a pic of her up on Facebook I get yelled at but if they feed her greens before she has teeth she lets it go. So the situation that got me thinking about this is ongoing. My sister, and I know now that if you put rubber bands in your hair it will get tangled up, pull it out, and break it off in pieces. However; even though she told the in laws not to put them in her Child’s hair they continue to do so. Even when she provided them with cloth hair ties they discard them and return the child with rubber bands in her hair. We buy more cloth hair ties. We put cloth ones in her diaper bag. She comes back with rubber bands. This has happened over and over for the last year till she told me to drop it. Then one day my niece came back to us with slightly straight hair and a burnt smell in her hair. It appeared someone had tried to press her hair. My sister said it might be because his family smokes, and the smell got in the babies hair. Like that’s better. Any who She’s 2 so I got upset. No 2 year old should be getting a press and curl. My sis ask them if they presses it and they said no so once again she said drop it because her husband thought she was calling his mom a lie. Then one day his sister picked up the baby and said y’all need to get this child’s hair together. It was in a twisted out like Afro. I thought it was cute seeing how my hair was the same way. This just keeps happening, and it makes me wonder how I will handle this type of situation when I have kids. It seems like both sides have no idea how to truly handle natural hair. My mom always calls me to do the baby’s hair when my sister is busy. She does not know how to braid or twist and when I try to show her she doesn’t seem to have the patients for it. This is probably the same situation with the mother In-law. They are both from a different time period with a different mindset and unwilling to change or consider that times have changed and people’s minds are different. They probably think it’s a fad like in the 70s to wear your hair out, and it could be. However; I’m still going to rock my hair popular or not and I plan on teaching my future daughter how to love and properly care for her hair. If I ever end up in this situation, I always said I would go off and say you can’t keep the child anymore till you abide by my rules. I’m not letting anyone step over me in regards to how I raise my child, but would I really do that? Probably not cause I’m a peaceful person. Still how do you stand firm on things you want for your child without there being a huge upset? I hope I figure this out before I’m in this situation myself. Maybe I won’t ever have to go through this. I’ve never had the hair conversation with my mother-in-law cause it was never an issue. I let her do her she lets me do me. She’s never made a side comment about natural hair or how she does not like it, so I would assume it does not matter to her. She seems like the type of person that does not judge based on looks like most people I know. M My mom thinks my mother-in-law probably does not like my hair but has never said so to be nice. I asked my husband and he said that’s not true. So for right now the question of how to handle this situation lye dormant in the back of my mind till I’m wiser, and a little better at conflict resolution. What are your thoughts?

Scalp massaging scalp pain and my quest to find a solution.

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment
Back in the day when I still had a perm. I had this male hairstylist that was heavenly to look at, and he really took care of my hair too. When he would wash my hair he would massage my scalp and make me have an out of body experience. None of my other old stylist had ever done something like that for me. It felt so good and relaxing even though it made me feel a little uncomfortable because a straight man that I was not dating was massaging my scalp into complete contentment. I think I might have passed out once. I know he put me to sleep twice to my knowledge. Did I mention he was fine.
 This was the first time I was introduced to scalp massaging to promote long hair growth. He told me he was trying to increase circulation to my scalp which I had never heard of, but my hair did grow like crazy. He was the first stylist that wanted my thick hair to grow long. Most hair stylist complained and tried to convince me to cut it short. When I wouldn’t comply they would tell me they need to clip my ends and cut it short any way without my permission. When my hair started growing I figured he knew what he was doing. 
One day I showed up for my appointment and he was gone. The lady that replaced him took one look at my long hair and said we need to cut this it’s to much work for me. After that I forgot about the massages for a while. That was untitled I saw a string of YouTube videos on massaging your scalp with essential oils to promote long hair growth. So yesterday I decided to give it a try. 
  I mostly thought of trying this out because my scalp is still really sore despite my refrain from updos and hair pins. Last week I did Minnie twist and unraveled them over time to revile a tiny tendril look of curls.  However to my dismay when I washed my hair yesterday my scalp seamed even more irritated and sore to the touch. 
When I started rubbing the sore patches in the top and sides of my scalp the pain subsided a little. 
I had done a deep condition regiment with Greek yogurt, apple cider vinegar and instead of my usual lavender oil I used peppermint oil. The peppermint oil made my scalp really tingly so I thought it’s already on my scalp so let’s try this massaging thing out to see if it will alleviate my scalp pain. 
    It did for a while but it came back after a some time had passed. The hairstyle I’m sporting this week probably isn’t helping 😦 
anyway I’m going to keep it up anyway. I don’t know why my hair is so sore. I’m not so sure it’s the hair pins anymore. It could be the scarf I tie around my head at night to keep my hair in place. Maybe it’s to tight. If this keeps up I may have to go to the doctor.  Really can’t afford that right now. 
The products I’ve been using are coconut oil,Aloe Vera juice, design essentials curling moose and twist spray. Dark and lovely au natural curling stuff( I only used a little. ) I washed with the nothing but clarifying shampoo. And Shea moistures African black soap conditioner to restore ph balance. That’s it.
    This week all I used was the coconut oil Aloe Vera juice and entwined argon oil. On a bright side my hair has grown. I can tell cause I’m starting to see my roots and my gray hairs are peaking out. That’s all I’ve been up to. If you have any tips please let me know. 

Shrinkage sucks

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My hair is shorter than it use to be so when shrinkage happens it just ruins my mood a little. Basically for those who do not understand. If you are African American that has let your hair grow out in its natural texture it is liable to look different in the next hour after you style it.  Basically it will shrink up and look shorter. Now there are ways to stretch your hair using heat or other stretching hair styles. However this does not mean your hair is safe from reverting back and shrinking up. Most of the time for me it’s a toss up between what the weather is doing or what I’m doing. Like if it rains my hair will be moisturized by the water but once it drys it will shrink. My hair can be really unpredictable if I leave it out. If I pin it up and do tuck and roll type hair styles its more reliable. But as I mentioned in previous blogs I think I’m allergic to metal hair pins so I might have to start to style

 it in a different way that may be left out. So it really peeves me when I do such styles like twist outs wash and go’s and such and I lose my length before I get off the train for work. I hate it when people ask me did I cut my hair especially when they are black. They should know the deal. I hate it when people insinuate I put pieces in my hair when I do pinup styles because they think my hair was to short to do that. My hair is healthy so I’m not mad at that but it really shrunk up this week and its frustrating.   

Shrinkage sucks

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment

My hair is shorter than it use to be so when shrinkage happens it just ruins my mood a little. Basically for those who do not understand. If you are African American that has let your hair grow out in its natural texture it is liable to look different in the next hour after you style it.  Basically it will shrink up and look shorter. Now there are ways to stretch your hair using heat or other stretching hair styles. However this does not mean your hair is save from reverting back and shrinking up. Most of the time for me it’s a toss up between what the weather is doing or what I’m doing. Like if it rains my hair will be moisturized by the water but once it drys it will shrink. My hair can be really unpredictable if I leave it out. If I pin it up and do tuck and roll type hair styles its more reliable. But as I mentioned in previous blogs I think I’m allergic to metal hair pins so I might have to start to style

 it in a different way that may be left out. So it really peeves me when I do such styles like twist outs wash and go’s and such and I lose my length before I get off the train for work. I hate it when people ask me did I cut my hair especially when they are black. They should know the deal. I hate it when people insinuate I put prices in my hair when I do pinup styles because they think my hair was to short to do that. My hair is healthy so I’m not mad at that but it really shrunk up this week and its frustrating.   

Shameless Maya meet up at the bean plus how my day went leading up to the meet.

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment

So I’m just going to put it all out there. I had been planing to go to this meet up for a week and like in true fashion I was over thinking things and transformed into my old introvert self. I have  moments when I’m all fun and confident. Then I have times when I just can’t get my self out to be heard. In true gemini  fashion I have two personalities sometimes. So this is how my day went down. I knew that the meet up was from 5-7, and I also know I had to be at work that day at 6. I could take one train that would get me there at 4:30 or another that would get me there at 5:19. I also had to restyle my hair cause I fell asleep with out a bonnet or scarf. My hair was looking crazy,& I knew there would be people taking pics and video so I had to look good. So I went to my Pinterest board called natural hair styles and tried to find a quick cute style that would come across well on film. I decided to do twists cause that’s what I was feeling even though they are not a quick style. I knew it could take majority of my day, but I estimated if I worked on my hair from 8am to 1pm I could make the first train. Needless to say it took till about 3 because my mom kept calling me. She. Always. Gets mad when I’m doing my hair cause she thinks its weird to take so long on ones own head. She must have forgotten it use to take all of Saturday at the beauty shop when I had a relaxer. I don’t know why that’s normal to her but me taking all day. Anyway my hair was Loki g good. Parted to one side twist hanging down long. I had put clips in them to keep them form shrinking up because I had drenched my hair in aloe Vera before styling. When I was leaving the house I removed the clips and my hair was just bouncy and at shoulder length. I boarded the train and proceed to go to work and the meet up. While I was on the train  my hair was shrinking up without my knowledge. I thought my hair had dried. I got off the train and walked to the bean. As I got there I was looking around for Maya and a crowds of people. I did not see her but I did notice a large number of curly hair made up ladies sitting at the tables across from the bean. At first I thought I’m to late she left its 5:20 and that’s probably a school group on a field trip. Then I thought it doesn’t hurt to ask, and as I was about to approach the ladies one of them jumped up and screamed Maya!  I stopped dead in my tracks turned around and she was right behind me. She was late like me. Now here’s where I got kinda painfully shy. I say her inches from me and I froze scared to approach her like she was a dear in the woods that might run if I spook her. Yep I could have been the first to great her but I let  people walk past me and hug her and start talking to her. This started the trend for that meet up. I just kept letting people jump in front of me and talk over me. I felt like that guy in the movie office space. I finally got a couple of picks with her, but I hated how I looked in them. My eyes squint to much when I smile to hard. I also forgot to put on makeup on the train. I started feeling really self conches and out of place. Everyone seemed younger then me and way more put together. They were all extremely confident women that spoke up and looked gorgeous. I didn’t feel like I looked the part of a shameless maya fan. Plus my hair shrunk up and stopped looking cute in my opinion. After I took some pics with maya I looked at the clock on my phone and decided to get to. Work before I was late. So I mumbled to maya thank you I gotta get to work. It was nice meeting you, and ran off. She probably couldn’t here me because some of the young ladies in the group had started talking loud over me asking her something. I really wish I could have been the aggressive person that was screaming inside ” what is wrong with you talk dummy. I probably look weird to everyone.  At least when I posted some of the pics on Instagram Maya liked them. At least she was nice a polite. I really admire her attitude. I would like to be that out going one day soon. Cause right now the way I am has been holding me back in life. I need a change. Oh we’ll here’s some pictures.