Ever since I rejoined my church choir there’s a song that has been defining my spiritual walk lately. The song is called He’s Been so Good by First Church of Deliverance🎶. I was first introduced to the song when I was a child hanging out in my uncles gospel record store. Back then the lyrics didn’t really hit me. It wasn’t until I was asked to sing it did the lyrics really start to minister to my life and the situations I faced.
To be honest I was put on the spot and forced to sing He’s Been So Good. I had alway tried to sing at my church but road blocks was always in the way to stop me. The only times I was able to push my way in and sing was at open mic nights and Black History Month programs. Every time I did one of those events people would tell me I didn’t know you sang? Sometimes the same people would say it every time I sag because my solos was few and far between. There was one person that never forgot that I sing. The church pianist lovingly called Sister Petey. Everytime I saw her at church she would randomly bring up how I have such a beautiful singing voice, and how she wished I was in the choir.
So of course when I join the choir she ratted me out 😳 to the director. He’s was trying to find someone to sing He’s Been so Good and no one was going to do it. Just when he decided to sing the song himself Sister Petey called out from behind the piano. “Excuse me that girl right there 😱 she can sing it make her sing it.” The first thing I thought is if I don’t make eye contact with her maybe she’ll just forget about it. “That girl there the little Wade.” No she just kept saying it over and over and over again until the director gave me the lyrics and made me sing it.
When I was given the song I was told to have it ready in two weeks. So I started rehearsing the lyrics every day. Then I really started reading the lyrics. At first I thought I’m not worthy to sing this song because I felt so hopeless about so many things going on in my life. I felt like God had forgotten about me. It wasn’t until I really started examining the lyrics that I realize that perhaps this song was given to me to remind me how good God has been to me.
I had so many sad things going on and I still have those things going on. I realized I have a tendency to focus on the negatives and not see the blessing surrounding me. Like sure I can’t seem to conceive, but I’m blessed to have a wonderful niece and nephew in my life to fill that void. God keeps them safe, healthy, and well taken care of.
Recently my roof caved in and my pipes broke and my carpet molded over. There was water damage everywhere. I had to remind myself that at least I still have a roof over my head (when I was standing in the front of the house.)
My cousins (Yes with an S) died. Three on my dads side. Then my cat died two days after my birthday. Then I got sick and ended up in the hospital. I had to thank God for my cousins lives and my relationships with them. I had to thank God for my cat being by my side for 21 years licking my tears whenever I was sad 😭. Even though the hospital really didn’t help me and I still feel sick time to time. Weirdly enough I have to thank him that I stopped coughing up blood. I’m still here and it’s a blessing. A lot of people didn’t wake up this morning, I did. So I have to have faith that he is working things out for me. He didn’t have to.
Lately I’ve been so lonely. I really wish sometimes my friends did more to keep in touch with me. I know I work two jobs but a simple phone call could help me a lot when I low. No one calls me so lately I’ve been saying I don’t have any friends. My sister doesn’t even take the time to call me that often. I told my husband recently I wish I had a best friend. He looked at me sad and said “babe I’m your best friend.” It was at that moment I realized I was taking his friendship for granted. I wasn’t looking at the blessing God has given me in him.
God has a plan for my life even though I can’t see it right now. I can’t get caught up in where I’m not at in my life. I can’t let life’s setbacks get me down and make me zero in on my faults. I need to take the time to count my blessings because he’s been so good.