He’s Been so GoodĀ 

      Ever since I rejoined my church choir there’s a song that has been defining my spiritual walk lately. The song is called He’s Been so Good by First Church of DeliverancešŸŽ¶. I was first introduced to the song when I was a child hanging out in my uncles gospel record store. Back then the lyrics didn’t really hit me. It wasn’t until I was asked to sing it did the lyrics really start to minister to my life and the situations I faced.  
     To be honest I was put on the spot and forced to sing He’s Been So Good. I had alway tried to sing at my church but road blocks was always in the way to stop me. The only times I was able to push my way in and sing was at open mic nights and Black History Month programs. Every time I did one of those events people would tell me I didn’t know you sang? Sometimes the same people would say it every time I sag because my solos was few and far between. There was one person that never forgot that I sing. The church pianist lovingly called Sister Petey. Everytime I saw her at church she would randomly bring up how I have such a beautiful singing voice, and how she wished I was in the choir.

     So of course when I join the choir she ratted me out šŸ˜³ to the director. He’s was trying to find someone to sing He’s Been so Good and no one was going to do it. Just when he decided to sing the song himself Sister Petey called out from behind the piano. “Excuse me that girl right there šŸ˜± she can sing it make her sing it.” The first thing I thought is if I don’t make eye contact with her maybe she’ll just forget about it. “That girl there the little Wade.” No she just kept saying it over and over and over again until the director gave me the lyrics and made me sing it. 

     When I was given the song I was told to have it ready in two weeks. So I started rehearsing the lyrics every day. Then I really started reading the lyrics. At first I thought I’m not worthy to sing this song because I felt so hopeless about so many things going on in my life. I felt like God had forgotten about me. It wasn’t until I really started examining the lyrics that I realize that perhaps this song was given to me to remind me how good God has been to me. 

   I had so many sad things going on and I still have those things going on. I realized I have a tendency to focus on the negatives and not see the blessing surrounding me. Like sure I can’t seem to conceive, but I’m blessed to have a wonderful niece and nephew in my life to fill that void. God keeps them safe, healthy, and well taken care of. 

       Recently my roof caved in and my pipes broke and my carpet molded over. There was water damage everywhere. I had to remind myself that at least I still have a roof over my head (when I was standing in the front of the house.) 

    My cousins (Yes with an S) died. Three on my dads side. Then my cat died two days after my birthday. Then I got sick and ended up in the hospital. I had to thank God for my cousins lives and my relationships with them. I had to thank God for my cat being by my side for 21 years licking my tears whenever I was sad šŸ˜­. Even though the hospital really didn’t help me and I still feel sick time to time. Weirdly enough I have to thank him that I stopped coughing up blood. I’m still here and it’s a blessing. A lot of people didn’t wake up this morning, I did. So I have to have faith that he is working things out for me. He didn’t have to. 

      Lately I’ve been so lonely. I really wish sometimes my friends did more to keep in touch with me. I know I work two jobs but a simple phone call could help me a lot when I low. No one calls me so lately I’ve been saying I don’t have any friends. My sister doesn’t even take the time to call me that often. I told my husband recently I wish I had a best friend. He looked at me sad and said “babe I’m your best friend.” It was at that moment I realized I was taking his friendship for granted. I wasn’t looking at the blessing God has given me in him. 

    God has a plan for my life even though I can’t see it right now. I can’t get caught up in where I’m not at in my life. I can’t let life’s setbacks get me down and make me zero in on my faults. I need to take the time to count my blessings because he’s been so good. 

Summer MemoriesĀ 

When I was young, the summer time was my favorite time of year. To me, summer ment freedom, family, and fun. Now most people hear the words freedom and summer and they think of the forth of July. I say freedom because summer was a much needed break from school. Schools was not a pleasant place for me. I was always picked on heavily by teachers. So summer was a greatly needed break to recover, and rebuild my self esteem.
The family part comes in mostly because that’s when I saw them the most. My mother was a chicago public school teacher. Summer was supposed to be her break too. Sometimes if we needed money she taught summer school, but she rarely did. So when the summer came, I got my mommy back. During the school year she was so wrapped up in other people’s kids I used to feel like an after thought. During the school year she would stay at work well after all the other teachers had went home. She would pretty much stay until the buildings closed. During the summer my mom became a mom again. She would cook food from scratch, bake, buy us Popsicles take us anywhere we wanted to go. She would watch over us from the porch as we rode our bikes in the sun with our friends making sure nothing bad happens to us. She would plan block club parties while hanging out gossiping with all the other Mommy’s.

When she wasn’t teaching summer school she was free to go on vacations. So my father and mother would plan trips to Wisconsin dells and Disney World. They would take us to the beach almost every weekend, or a museum. We would go to the taste of Chicago and watch the fireworks. We would get ice cream at McDonald’s and drive around in Beverly trying to find a new house.

When she was teaching summer school and we didn’t go to church camp with my dad’s family, Chicago State University was our playground. We took ballet lessons, swimming lessons, tennis lesson, piano lessons and voice lesson. My sister also did modeling and science some summers. We had piano recitals at the museum of science and industry. One summer, my cousin Martha came to stay after college and it felt like having a second big sister. Even though she seemed bossy she watched over me and made sure I did what was right.

When I was very small before all my uncles died, summers was spent visiting and barbecuing. I remember my uncle Joe and Robert used to show me how to make things from found objects. We would walk around for hours in the neighborhood walking my dog picking up discarded popsicle sticks till they filled a small grocery bag. Then we would take them home to clean them. After they were dry we would build things with them with glue and ingenuity. We made log cabins and towers. Just about anything the imagination could think of.

Summers meant I got to see my cousins Rocky, Ray Ray,and Robin more. I looked up to them so much, every visit felt like they brought a little more excitement every time. It also meant that I had to go to camp at my family church. Even though I always felt alone and left out surrounded by so many people and family at KOK, I always had my uncle Jessie looking out for me across the street. I can always see him and aunt Florence in the window watching. And if I needed them all I had to do was cross the street.

The fun came in with all of my friends. When I was little there was so many kids on the block we felt like a small army. Most of the kids were my sisters age or older. There’s a small few that was my age. If I didn’t have anyone to play with on the block I still had my best friend Stephanie from school who would ride her bike all the way to my house (without permission from her mom) and play all day with me. I hung out at my friend Heather’s house and we would play Barbie dolls with our friend Page. Our big sisters would start water fights with the boys and we would spend all day filling up buckets and water guns to help the resistance. We were lookouts, tattletales, and Double dutch competition judges. We cuaught tadpoles in the whole and walked the Indian Trail. We road our bikes to the candy store and get pickles with peppermint sticks in the middle.

We had sleepovers and stayed up all night catching lightning bugs in pickle jars. We woke up in the morning and went back outside and didn’t come back till the street lights was on.

Now that I’m an adult and I really don’t get to do anything but work for the summer I look back on all these things with fondness. A lot of people I mentioned have passed away. Like my uncles, aunt, my cousin Martha, and my friend Heather. I think on these memories and think of them.

#Summer17Writing #GoldenFabulous