I’m tired. I mean I’m really tired! So I have a second job now and it’s hard. I’m working both jobs all day from 9:30am to 11:00pm. But the good news is they didn’t care about my hair color. So the super purple princess wins again. I’ll try to post another blog soon while I’m at my second job hope all is well with you all peace out.
If you follow me on Instagram and Facebook you already know I put in purple Havanna mombo twist. I crochet them into my hair all night last night. Why you ask? I just felt like it. I wanted to do something daring while my job was on break. The random thing is the day before I went on a job interview and I may have the job.
I did the worst interview I’ve every done with my actual hair in small (fuzzy) twist. I was sure I screwed that one up and would not hear from them again. So I put in these purple twist and for the first time in almost a year I get a call back.
Now I’m worried to go back in with this purple hair. I’m so afraid that they will change their minds. Things have been really bad for us financially. I really need this job. I’m so worried my decision to take a chance will ruin my chances.
since my last post about leaving weight watchers I’ve been kicking it up a notch at the gym. I’ve always been the type to workout. I’ve been exercising three days a week since I was in grade school. I even cracked a rib once recently working out to much.
One thing that has always made me feel extremely lonely is that I have no one to workout with. My mom is a dieter and believes working out make you fat. My sister has always had a high metabolism so she has never really needed to go to the gym. My husband thinks it’s a little silly to work out and in the past he would discourage me from going to the gym. Now he knows I’m very unhappy with my weight gain, so he supports me going to the gym. However he may not join me but once a year.
Then when you get to my friends it’s a no go from them. I realized that’s one of the things we don’t have in common. They’re the type that only want to hangout and eat. If you want them to walk instead of taking the bus for exercise, and to save money. They can’t because it hurts to much because of their weight. But they can’t lose weight because the don’t move around enough. But they can’t move around more cause of their weight. So it’s like an unsolvable conundrum.
If I encourage my friends to workout more things become awkward and strained between us. I want to change my life. I want to feel better, but I can’t force that type of thinking on them they have to come to that conclusion their selves. If they are comfortable with their weight then I shouldn’t try to convince them otherwise.
When it comes to working out alone the key word alone starts to bother me a little. I wish I had like minded friends that motivated and pushed me, and I would do the same for them. There’s a myth that black women don’t exercise and sadly a lot of black women fall into that type of dangerous thinking. Then there are the ones that try very hard to live a healthy lifestyle that I don’t click with.
I don’t know what it is about me. I try to smile and make small talk but friendships at the gym don’t stick. Sometimes I wonder is it my weight. Maybe they think I’m not serious about being healthy. Maybe they are judging me. Maybe my approach comes off awkward or weird.
Regardless of why I don’t have a gym buddy I can’t help but be envious of people that do.
Hey was up my chubby curly girls? I was a little busy for a couple days checking out two cool events. one was Nikki and the City Book launch for her book When God Said Yes. the other event was the 4th annual Chicago naturals meetup. I did a video haul of all the stuff I got in the gift bags. Check it out below!
Sometimes social media can be a detriment to your growth. I know people say this all the time, but it can be very true at times. Something I noticed recently is that I consume my day with a large portion of other people’s lives. People I don’t even know.
For instance one of my favorite things to do in the morning is catch up on my you tube subscriptions. Ever since I got chrome cast I can create a play list of videos and they play back to back till the end. This gives me the freedom to prepare my breakfast while watching you tube videos on my tv. The down side is that sometimes after I’m done eating I just sit there watching others live life outside their home.
I’m not living my life and there’s a problem with that. I can sit and watch Naptural85 with her husband and child go on all sorts of adventures but I’m in my house. Most of these videos last 20minutes. So if I watch 6 videos that’s most of my day. Most of my free time when I could be doing something.
I realized recently that maybe I haven’t accomplished a lot of my goals because I’m stuck in a rut watching others achieve theirs. I need to put more time into making things in my life happen instead of watch life pass me by. So if I want to sing I need to put more time into practicing. If I want to start a business I need to put more time and preparation into it. If I want to blog I need to set aside more time into preparing and growing it. I need to give less time to others that don’t care about my dreams and more to myself.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not terrible to hang on social media. Just don’t let it consume your life. Sometimes seeing other triumph can motivate you to get things in your life going. Shameless Maya is highly motivating. Also Nikki and the city.
I have three friends and a cousin that have written books in the last year. This has made my dream of writing seem less impossible. I have another friend that has started a successful cupcake business. I watch them for a time and use them as a good blueprint, but I don’t want to consume my days watching them and wondering why cant that be me. Why have I not finished my goals. When God gives you a talent He expects you to use them. He has a purpose for your unique gift. Don’t wast it away with distractions. Will you get up today and go after your goals?