since my last post about leaving weight watchers I’ve been kicking it up a notch at the gym. I’ve always been the type to workout. I’ve been exercising three days a week since I was in grade school. I even cracked a rib once recently working out to much.
One thing that has always made me feel extremely lonely is that I have no one to workout with. My mom is a dieter and believes working out make you fat. My sister has always had a high metabolism so she has never really needed to go to the gym. My husband thinks it’s a little silly to work out and in the past he would discourage me from going to the gym. Now he knows I’m very unhappy with my weight gain, so he supports me going to the gym. However he may not join me but once a year.
Then when you get to my friends it’s a no go from them. I realized that’s one of the things we don’t have in common. They’re the type that only want to hangout and eat. If you want them to walk instead of taking the bus for exercise, and to save money. They can’t because it hurts to much because of their weight. But they can’t lose weight because the don’t move around enough. But they can’t move around more cause of their weight. So it’s like an unsolvable conundrum.
If I encourage my friends to workout more things become awkward and strained between us. I want to change my life. I want to feel better, but I can’t force that type of thinking on them they have to come to that conclusion their selves. If they are comfortable with their weight then I shouldn’t try to convince them otherwise.
When it comes to working out alone the key word alone starts to bother me a little. I wish I had like minded friends that motivated and pushed me, and I would do the same for them. There’s a myth that black women don’t exercise and sadly a lot of black women fall into that type of dangerous thinking. Then there are the ones that try very hard to live a healthy lifestyle that I don’t click with.
I don’t know what it is about me. I try to smile and make small talk but friendships at the gym don’t stick. Sometimes I wonder is it my weight. Maybe they think I’m not serious about being healthy. Maybe they are judging me. Maybe my approach comes off awkward or weird.
Regardless of why I don’t have a gym buddy I can’t help but be envious of people that do.