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#FantasticFroFriday

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment

I’ve decided I want to start a new hashtag  #FantasticFroFriday. I want to bring the natural hair community together to celebrate our varying afro’s. Sometimes I feel like we natural hair enthusiast primarily focus on definition and protective styles.

We don’t always encourage each other to just let our hair be in all its glorious bountiful beauty and fro it out. I also would like to feature some of my subscribers. All you have to do is submit a picture or video, and tell why you believe your fro is fantastic. Then share some of your hair care routine. Let me know by Wednesday of every week that you would like to participate.

 Share with your friends that have fantastic fro’s.  You can even submit a celebrity that you love with natural hair and nominate them for a feature on my blog and page for Fantastic Fro Friday. Let’s make this a thing.

How to survive the struggle. Tips for new and inexperienced naturals

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment

So it happened again. Today I woke up and my twist-out was done. I looked like I had stuck my finger in a light socket, and no re-twisting would rectify the situation. I had expected something like this could happen because I had been there and done that. I’ve been natural for eight years now so I’ve learned some key facts. I know a lot of new natural’s look at pics like mine and think it all must come so easy to me. Well it does not. I have my good and bad hair days like most people but I’ve learned how to navigate my way through them. In this post I will give you some of my tips to survive the stress and struggle of being natural. once you get the hag of your hair’s likes and dislikes you will fall in love.
1.) Expect disasters to occur 
I usually anticipate disaster to strike. If I’m doing a style like a twist-out, braid-out, or Bantu knots I know I have a high failure risk. It’s usually dependent on things like the weather. How much humidity is in the air. How much moisture am I lacking cause of the cold winter air. My hair can range from to dry to way to much moisture. That’s not my fault, and it’s definitely not my hairs fault so I should not take out my frustration on it. When bobby pins fall out while your sleep and your hair shifts. It’s always good to have a plan B on hand in case of emergencies. 
2.) Plan ahead 
I usually think to myself if this style goes wrong what’s your next move. What are your easy go to styles that are time savers. Let’s be real you can’t tell your boss I was late to work cause I was styling my hair. That’s a sure fire way to loosing a job. So to keep from showing up to work looking like Marge Simpson, and be on time you need some quickie styles that you know work already lined up. Another tip is I usually style my hair on the weekends so I have more time to make mistakes. If the weekend is not an option try getting up a couple hours earlier to check to see if your style was a success. If not then you have more time to fix it. 
3.) Don’t panic!
 When you panic you stress. The more you stress the more stress you put on your hair. The more stress you put on your hair the more susceptible to breakage your hair will become. 
4.)Don’t be a product junkie 
Don’t slather your hair with to much products. Don’t try new products every couple of weeks because it can cause you to have more bad days then good. It also can weaken your hair causing it to act up when you style it. Not even your favorite quick styles will work under those circumstances. 
5.) Don’t over think it. 
If you see a picture of a style you would like to try, but there’s no tutorial don’t feel like it’s impossible to do. Sometimes it takes a little studying to figure it out. Most of the time with me the style will be a lot simpler then I make it out to be in my mind. 
6.) I said don’t panic!! 
Again Really just breathe and plan. Check the clock and give yourself a time frame of when you should be finished. Work quickly but be gentle. 
7.) Accept your hair the way it is. 
Don’t go gushing over someone else’s hair all the while wishing it was yours. That will hold you back trust me. If you go on any other natural hair site, blog, or YouTube channel they will tell you the same. If your hair is not like her’s it won’t do that. 
8.) Be creative 
I like to see if I can come up with something new and easy on my own. Sometimes I even combine features I like from several different styles. Like today’s style. It’s a bun on top with a French roll in the back. 
9.) Be adventurous 
The style I did today was a little out the box, but I like it. I try to go outside my comfort zone and try new things with my hair. You can’t let Society run your life and how you present yourself. Your life will be boring, and you will be unhappy. I know some naturals that only wear straight weave because they believe that natural hair is not for corporate America. they believe twist and braids are childish and no one will take them seriously. they don’t want to do anything unique to draw attention to themselves. I feel like that is not living. Plus most people don’t care. I get more complements from other racial groups then I do my own.   It’s just hair.     
10.) Have fun. 
Like I said before it’s just hair. Don’t take it so seriously. You will make mistakes. It’s apart of the game. Today I tried to cornrow the back of my hair into a nautilus shaped bun design.  As you can see from the above braided pictures it did not work out the way it did in my head. As soon as I saw the back I laughed. It looked nothing like how I planned. I didn’t cry and throw things. I just took a moment to find humor in my mistakes and start again. 

How to wear your natural hair on a disney cruise (What to expect.) Pt. 2

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment

    Ok its part 2 time. What was previously discussed in part 1 was how to pick a natural style for your Disney Cruise vacation. I talked about picking a long lasting hair style so you won’t have to restyle your hair often. This will ensure your hair won’t be damaged from heavy manipulation. In part 2 I will discuss my second Disney Cruise hair style choices and why.

    After my fist Cruise on the Disney Dream I got engaged and when the question of where we would take our honeymoon came up a cruise seemed like a perfect idea. After saving all my tips for a year and my husband put aside money we were able to secure a spot. So, all the reservations and transportations were out of the way. So the next thing to plan was how would I wear my hair?

 After my first cruise I liked the turn out of the braids with my own hair, but for my honeymoon I wanted to feel flawless. Plus the amount of sun, heat, and chlorine from the last cruise had left my hair really dry. Factor in the fact that I had blown-out my hair to achieve the style and my hair started to feel a little damaged.

My hair usually spirals into little curls when it’s been left in braids or twist for a considerable amount of time. However; after the fist cruise it wouldn’t and I became concerned. One of the things I did wrong and I warned you about in part 1 is I didn’t use a heat protectant when I blew out my hair. That was a big no no. Then I didn’t feel like lugging my go to hair product with me on vacation so I left them at home. No no number 2. I didn’t moisturize my hair at all after I would leave the beach or the pool, so my hair just kinda dried out.

I learned from these mistakes and I was determined to take good care of my hair this time around. For the second cruise the beautician that did my hair for the wedding cut my hair shorter than I would have liked before the wedding and I couldn’t manipulate it at all to do any of my go to pinup tuck and roll styles. She also informed me after she cut my hair that she could not do the style we previously agreed on because my hair was too short. So to achieve the style I wanted for my wedding she had to add tracks AKA weave in my hair. I’m not against weave. I just didn’t picture that for my wedding day hair. Unfortunately I was backed into a corner because that was the style I wanted so I relented.

After I agreed to the weave it made me wonder once again what will I do with my hair for the honeymoon? Do I keep the curly (not my hair texture) weave in and keep the $250 hair style in my hair the whole honey moon, or do I go out on a limb and try something else?

My hair was too short to do braids on my own hair. I also didn’t want to risk damaging what hair I had left so I decided to put in jumbo kinky twist extensions myself.

Here is my reasoning behind choosing this style. I wanted long flowing hair, and I wanted to be able to bring only one small product to moisturize my scalp, and hair. Keeping my ends protected was a plus.

 What really sold me was being able to slap my hair into a pony tail or do a fishtail braided up-do at some of the more elegant restaurants on the ship. My hair was completely put away thus protected.

Now the only question was can I do my hair in time for my honeymoon? My honeymoon was 2 days after my wedding. We got married on a Saturday slept in on Sunday and I had till Tuesday 9 am before our plane left to install butt length kinky twist. So needless to say I was pressed for time.

What I did was plan ahead, and you can do this to if you ever convince yourself to do your hair with very little time. 1) I bought my hair early. I went to the beauty supply at the beginning of the month and got three bags of hair. 2) I bought my hair products early. I went to store all over finding the products I liked on sale a month in advanced. 3) I planed and plotted my free time out to a T. I asked my hubby if he was ok with me ignoring him a little Sunday afternoon so I could get an early start on my hair. I also planned for extra time INCASE something went wrong and I had to try something else. This came in handy when I ran out of hair Monday.  4) I packed my clothes 2 days before the wedding. I did this so all the packing stress would not get in the way. I didn’t want to make my time any shorter because then I might damage my hair trying to rush. When you are in a hurry and you need to detangle your hair, it’s possible you can be too rough and damaged your ends, or roots with pulling and yanking. We didn’t want that.

With everything planed and the wedding behind us I woke the day after my wedding with the task of cutting this weave out of my hair without getting my own hair. I was successful in record time and even managed to do a quick twist out so I still looked good when we left the hotel. When we arrived to our new house it was raining outside and inside out house so some of my time got taken up with moving our furniture and clothes and calling an emergency roofer. Strangely enough I planned for this too. I had seen strange holes in the ceiling and asked my mom/ landlord to check on it she refused and I noticed some of the furniture I had bought months ago was wet and water stained. She didn’t believe me till water was literally pouring down on me and my husband. I saw it coming and I checked the weather and I planned for it which is a strange thing to plan for, but I did.

After we got the bed and computer moved to dry land. I set up my stuff on the bed and gathered my felicity DVDs which somehow make me braid and twist faster.

I started at 5pm Sunday, and was done by 10pm Monday night.   I was finished by the end season 2 of Felicity. So I think I made pretty good time.

So my hair was finished and my trip was underway. To add a little glamour I rolled my twist with perm rods and dipped them in microwaved hot water. At the time we didn’t have a range and the only way to heat anything up was with the microwave.

The next morning before we left for our flight I took down the rollers and my twist was curly but still wet. If I had more time, they might have been dry. Also if I had access to a range the water would have been much hotter and my curls may have lasted longer.

Ironically our flight was delayed twice so we didn’t leave till 2 pm. If I had known and was not supper self-conches about it I could have kept my rollers in till we boarded. But I was not raised like that so that would have never gone down like that.

Actually I was a little peeved because I could have stayed home longer with the rollers in. So the lesson I learned from this, and I’m passing this down to you is. If you want to curl your extensions make sure you have enough time to let them dry.

So the twist worked out great. I was able to swim and play without having to restyle my hair twice a day. I think we went on the Aqua Duck 50 times, and it was nice not to be that black chick that’s scared to get her hair wet.

Did I mention Disney Cruise shampoo is awesome? I ran out of the tiny bottles of my Shea moistures that I brought and I ended up using the cruise lines shampoo. It didn’t strip my hair of moisture which I thought it would do. My hair stayed soft which was a surprise. If you don’t want to bring to much hair product with you this is a nice option, and if you prefer your own because of allergies, and certain preferences be sure to take an extra little regulation tiny bottle because you may end up washing your hair a lot. I was in the pool, Jacuzzi, and Aqua Duck at least 3 times a day being romantic with my hubby and I ran out of shampoo quickly.

I know what you are thinking. “Didn’t washing your hair so much strip it of moisture?”It probably did a little so that’s something to keep in mind. Also I let my hair air dry a lot and it started to smell mildewed by the end of the cruise. I covered it up with perfume, but that was spraying alcohol on my hair which could dry it out.

I never found a solution for the smell. The only thing I could have done was use the state room blow dryer but it didn’t have enough power to me, and again would have potentially damaged my hair without a heat protectant.

Another thing to consider if you go the extensions route is bring a lot of large hair ties. I made the mistake of only bringing 1 and it broke before we even boarded the ship in our hotel the night before debarkation. So I had to go to my hotel gift shop and buy a overpriced Minnie Mouse scrunchy that was big like the ones from the 80’s and 90’s and it did not have a lot of give. Don’t end up in this situation.

Not having to worry about my hair was the best part of this style and it made it the best choice for future vacations. When you are on vacation you want to be free and have fun not be that prissy girly girl that fusses over her hair throughout most of the trip.  So if you are going on a Disney Cruise or somewhere hot with a lot of water options extensions are the best way to go. Your hair is put away so you won’t mess with it potentially making it weak and unhealthy. Your ends are protected and if you clean it properly you won’t have to worry about mildew and scalp infections from bacteria buildup.

I hope you all have fun this vacation season and keep your hair health in mind when traveling.

How to wear your natural hair on a disney cruise (What to expect.) Pt. 1

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment
     It’s that time of year again when you want to take a family vacation to some place warm and sunny. You may be newly natural or a natural hair veteran but you still don’t know what to do with your hair for the trip. Lately I’ve been obsessed with the idea of going on another family vacation on the Disney Dream or Fantasy. I’ve been on the dream twice so far with my family first, then again on my honeymoon and it’s now my new favorite thing. I probably won’t be able to get my whole family together again for another one because no one seems interested but a girl can dream ( get it)  Day dreaming is what I’ve been doing ever since the weather broke and the sun started shinning a little bit brighter.
  While I was looking through picture of my stay on the Disney Dream. I suddenly remembered my fist cruise dilemma of what should I do with my hair?  I had never been on a cruise before. When I was told about the cruise I was only given a week to prepare. My sister the journalist, had lucked up on getting the whole family booked on the fist voyage were the press was invited to capture the ships christening.
  So in the midst of taking off work and informing my teachers I would not be there for the fist week of class I needed to pic a lasting hair style. In Chicago it was January, cold and snow up to your knees. I had been practicing protective styling to be able to get my hair under a winter hat, but I wanted my hair down for the trip. When considering hair styles I knew I didn’t want to have to style my hair everyday. I knew I wanted to swim ( one of my favorite things to do. ) and I knew a twist out would not last 10 min. 
 

The first thing you have to consider is your environment. Disney cruise ships travel all over. If you choose a Caribbean, Bahamian or Hawaiian cruise you can expect warmer weather. which means more frizz and a chance of damaging your hair from over styling, wind and sun damage. When I was on the dream both times we went to the Bahamas and it was so hot and sunny my already dyed hair got even lighter. I was OK with this till it dried out and become brittle form the chlorine in the pool.   If you take a European, or Alaskan cruise the weather might be a lot cooler especially if you take the Alaskan one. So protective styling might be the best route for those. 

  What you will want to do is have a style that will last through water, wind, rain, heat, & could. Something you don’t have to work with everyday because constant manipulation of the hair can lead to breakage.  
  After checking out the weather in Florida and Cast Away Cay For that week I had a clearer picture of what I would be up against. What I chose for my first Bahamian cruise was tiny braids with my own hair. I figured this style can hold up for the three nights. My hair was shoulder length when I did a blow-out so I braided it up after, so I could have some hang time. I applied Shea butter to my ends to seal in moisture and allow them to curl up a little. After I spent a whole day braiding my hair. I wrapped them around some flexie rood rollers to make my braids into tiny  Shirley temple curls. I wanted to look cute/well put together but ready for some fun in the pool and on the Aqua Duck. I also wanted to be mindful of my ends which again turned light brown even though they had been dyed dark brown months ago. I knew this was the oldest most vulnerable part of my hair. I didn’t want to mess with it a lot. 
  The first night we arrived in Florida my hair was really cute and curly but our ship was not leaving till early the next morning. It was 1 am by the time we was checked into the polynesian resort. It took them forever to check us in and then we needed to eat cause we had long missed dinner. After eating my sister informs us we need to be at the bus for the port buy 6 am so by 2am I new I was not going to be getting much sleep. I thought that since I would not be sleep long that if I wrapped my hair a certain way and put on a bonnet just so my curls would still be poppin. Wrong! When I woke my tiny individual braids were flat and life less. So I had to improvise because this was a press event and I didn’t want any bad hair day photo bombs in the news. So before I got into the shower I quickly Bantu knotted all the braids. I did not remove the knots till we was just about to disembark the bus at port. And almost like magic my curls was popping again.  Now throughout the 2 hour outdoor Christening celebration my curls fell again but they was still intact enough for our family Disney pic boarding the ship.

I did the Bantu knot method the whole cruise cause I did not want to bring my rollers. It worked pretty well and when I got in the pool, Aqua Duck, or ocean I put it in a pony tail. All in all some type of braids style be it up-do or extensions will work. If you don’t have the money or time like I did to get extensions, and your comfortable wearing your own hair in a braided style I would go for the one I tried. The only draw back is 1) you have to be careful blowing your hair out so you don’t get heat damage. Use a protective product that prevents heat damage, use a low heat setting, and try not to hold the dryer to close to your hair or hold it in one spot to long.   2) you have to be ok with your hair shrinking up a little after it gets wet and from heat. 3) avoid sand in your hair at all cost. I made the mistake of laying my head down some place sandy on the beach in Cast Away Cay and it took a week to get it all out. This ends part one stay tuned for part to where I discuss my experience with extensions. 

Hair updates

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment
It’s been a while and I wanted to update you all on how things are going with my hair. Things are good so far. My hair feels healthy, and it’s very shinny.  I’m still trying not to be such a product junky. It’s really heard for me because I always want to try what’s new even if what I’m using is working fine. I’ve been trying to buy less products for my hair because, well I’m broke for one. I just got married and finances are still very shaky.  Another reason is I want more of a consistent regiment. I had some trouble in the past and I think it was because I was introducing to many things to my hair at once.
     So far I’ve been using oils in my hair that are good for growth household products like Greek yogurt, and honey, and anything I have left over to start clearing them out. I started using palmers coconut oil again and I can say with out a shadow of a doubt that it’s is causing the dandruff problem. It’s been months since I used it and the itching and dandruff flared right on up again. I want to use it up to get my money’s worth but I might just throw it out cause as I’m writing this I’m stopping to scratch. Not cool! 
     
     I also was bad and bought something from the dollar store. I picked up Aunt Jackie’s knot on my watch instant detangler. I like it so far even though I only used it once. It really detangled my hair even after I had it in twist for like 2 weeks or more. Usually it takes forever to get through my hair after leaving twist in a lengthy time period, but I was through my hair in like 30 min or so. I’m impressed I have to admit. One problem though is that I got it at dollar deals and I have know idea what other retailer carry’s it. It smells good too. 
   I also got some edge pomade by ice cause the one I made from scratch with castor oil and hair gel was a fail. If I wasn’t so lazy I would make some flack seed gel. Flack seeds are also pretty pricy. I was looking into it for smoothie purposes also and I can’t spend that much on such a small bag. Maybe I will come across it in bulk.
   Last but not least I may have stumbled onto something good or bad I’m not sure yet so don’t try it till I figure it out. Seriously I really don’t want to hear any you gave bad advice and my hair fell out stories. Ok so before I wash my hair lately I’ve been spraying it with apple cider vinegar mixed with water. It was really helping get that product build up off my scalp when I left styles in a long time. It also helped eliminate that pesky dandruff situation. 
   One day I added 4 drops of peppermint oil to cutout the smell cause that stuff stinks. It started tingling at fist then the tingle turned into a stinging and my shower was hot and the peppermint started chocking me. I washed it out right away of course cause I thought I had made a bad mistake. Afterward my curls seemed a little looser then normal, but my hair was more manageable. Before I used the mixture I also deep conditioned with coconut milk and honey so that also could have been why my hair changed. 
     Later on I read something about lemon juice I forgot what it was but I got it in my head that it would be good for my hair. So I added it to the ACV water peppermint oil mixture and it tingled but did not sting or choke me. Afterwards my hair was more manageable but my curl was still the same maybe slightly looser but not that noticeable. My hair was also browner on the parts that was dyed back during my wedding. I know lemon juice can dye your hair, and so can honey so maybe that’s why. 
    Here’s the awesome part. My denman brush is always dirty and I can’t seem to get it or any of my combs clean. It melted that dirt right off. It even got it out the hard to reach crevices on my combs. I’m not sure I will keep using this mixture when I wash my hair but I will use it to clean my styling tools. 
Some of the things I’ve been using in my hair lately is apricot oil, jojoba oil, coconut oil, castor oil, olive oil, Shea butter mixture. I also spray my hair with Aloe Vera juice whenever it feels dry.
    If u want to keep up with what my hair is doing in more picture forms check out my Facebook or Instagram page of the same name. I usually post a pic every time I change my hair or try some new stuff on it. I also have 2 awesome Pinterest boards dedicated to natural hair and products.  Look me up you won’t regret it. 

Oils, my coils,cuts and stuff. Just my thoughts and hair updates

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment
So I’ve been experimenting with my hair a little & doing some research. I’m thinking of purchasing some jojoba oil, avocado oil and almond oil. I already got some castor oil. 
    I only used the castor oil once. It’s really thick and it maid my hair a little sticky. This makes me think I must have used to much. 
   Today my scalp started itching a lot. This brought to my attention that the dandruff problem had stopped and I didn’t even notice. I must have been doing something right. Now it’s itching again from the castor oil I think. Next time I will have a lighter hand when applying that stuff. 
    
   I’m going to stick with oils and making my own stuff for a while. With the exception of design essentials. I really like it a lot. It makes my hair do things I want without being stiff or sticky. I’m not going to lie though it’s pricy to me. However most natural hair products out there are pricy to me these days. 
   I still have that sore spot on my scalp. My friend Jen sent me some good info I’m going to do some more research on. Im also researching biotin. I’m really trying to grow my hair as well as keep it health and some says that this does the trick. I’m still skeptical about it. You can’t believe everything you see online. 
I think the cause of my soreness might be from to much manipulation styles or to much pulling. Either that or I’m still having an allergic reaction to something.  
   I have really bad food allergies. Some things can even kill me. So if I use a product with all natural stuff in it like nuts or something else it could cause irritation. One problem is that even when I don’t do my hair and leave it out it still gets really sore.
   I don’t know what’s going on but I know it’s growing cause I can see my un-dyed roots and they are getting long. I’m going to try to clip my own ends more. I only did it once and my hair grew like crazy then. After that I was to scared I would cut to much so I stooped.   
   The stylist that did my hair for the wedding said every 8 weeks. Needless to say I did a double take. Online everyone has their theories fro every 6 weeks, 3 weeks to just doing search and destroy. I really think searching everyday for split ends to clip is tedious and time consuming. 
Anyway my hair is in my version of Laila’s braided up do that’s featured on her YouTube Chanel. My friend Jen was wondering how to do protective styles like hers on shorter hair. So I decided to give it a try.   
  It’s a little more difficult to do protective styles on short or medium length hair. I remember when the stylist fist cut my hair I couldn’t do any if my go to styles. I still can’t do half of them. So I did a lot of twist outs and twist styles. I researched new styles on YouTube and Pinterest.  
  My Pinterest board natural hair styles has over 350 styles and products pinned. I get at least 20 notifications a day that someone has followed that board. You should check it out when you have the time. http://www.pinterest.com/mwade81/natural-hair-styles/

Shameless Maya meet up at the bean plus how my day went leading up to the meet.

~ chubbycurl34 ~ Leave a comment

So I’m just going to put it all out there. I had been planing to go to this meet up for a week and like in true fashion I was over thinking things and transformed into my old introvert self. I have  moments when I’m all fun and confident. Then I have times when I just can’t get my self out to be heard. In true gemini  fashion I have two personalities sometimes. So this is how my day went down. I knew that the meet up was from 5-7, and I also know I had to be at work that day at 6. I could take one train that would get me there at 4:30 or another that would get me there at 5:19. I also had to restyle my hair cause I fell asleep with out a bonnet or scarf. My hair was looking crazy,& I knew there would be people taking pics and video so I had to look good. So I went to my Pinterest board called natural hair styles and tried to find a quick cute style that would come across well on film. I decided to do twists cause that’s what I was feeling even though they are not a quick style. I knew it could take majority of my day, but I estimated if I worked on my hair from 8am to 1pm I could make the first train. Needless to say it took till about 3 because my mom kept calling me. She. Always. Gets mad when I’m doing my hair cause she thinks its weird to take so long on ones own head. She must have forgotten it use to take all of Saturday at the beauty shop when I had a relaxer. I don’t know why that’s normal to her but me taking all day. Anyway my hair was Loki g good. Parted to one side twist hanging down long. I had put clips in them to keep them form shrinking up because I had drenched my hair in aloe Vera before styling. When I was leaving the house I removed the clips and my hair was just bouncy and at shoulder length. I boarded the train and proceed to go to work and the meet up. While I was on the train  my hair was shrinking up without my knowledge. I thought my hair had dried. I got off the train and walked to the bean. As I got there I was looking around for Maya and a crowds of people. I did not see her but I did notice a large number of curly hair made up ladies sitting at the tables across from the bean. At first I thought I’m to late she left its 5:20 and that’s probably a school group on a field trip. Then I thought it doesn’t hurt to ask, and as I was about to approach the ladies one of them jumped up and screamed Maya!  I stopped dead in my tracks turned around and she was right behind me. She was late like me. Now here’s where I got kinda painfully shy. I say her inches from me and I froze scared to approach her like she was a dear in the woods that might run if I spook her. Yep I could have been the first to great her but I let  people walk past me and hug her and start talking to her. This started the trend for that meet up. I just kept letting people jump in front of me and talk over me. I felt like that guy in the movie office space. I finally got a couple of picks with her, but I hated how I looked in them. My eyes squint to much when I smile to hard. I also forgot to put on makeup on the train. I started feeling really self conches and out of place. Everyone seemed younger then me and way more put together. They were all extremely confident women that spoke up and looked gorgeous. I didn’t feel like I looked the part of a shameless maya fan. Plus my hair shrunk up and stopped looking cute in my opinion. After I took some pics with maya I looked at the clock on my phone and decided to get to. Work before I was late. So I mumbled to maya thank you I gotta get to work. It was nice meeting you, and ran off. She probably couldn’t here me because some of the young ladies in the group had started talking loud over me asking her something. I really wish I could have been the aggressive person that was screaming inside ” what is wrong with you talk dummy. I probably look weird to everyone.  At least when I posted some of the pics on Instagram Maya liked them. At least she was nice a polite. I really admire her attitude. I would like to be that out going one day soon. Cause right now the way I am has been holding me back in life. I need a change. Oh we’ll here’s some pictures.