Whenever I have a conversation with one of my friends that has relaxed hair they often bring up the fact that they like my hair. However one draw back for them going natural is the fact that they believe that natural hair is not for adult occasions. Some style are perceive as childish. I can understand from hearing their point of view how they have come to that belief. If you really think about it some of the styles us adult naturals wear are close in similarity to the styles we wore as kids. Take today for instance. I’m rockin chunky three-strand twist. I normally wouldn’t wear my hair in such large twist in public, but I’m trying to achieve a good twist- out for Mother’s Day. As I looked in the mirror before I left work I felt like I looked like my adolescent self. All I had to do was add some barrettes and I was six again. When you are 33 you want people to take you seriously. Sadly in today’s world some people will still see your natural hair as immature.
Lately I’ve been trying to use less products and create a better hair regime. In the past I would get so caught up in the next best new product that I would switch up products every few months. It always happened the Same way. Super popular hair blogger does review of a product. Talks about it like its the holy grail, and I have to go out and get me some. Never mind what I was using even if it was working. I was convinced that this next new best thing would surpass that. We all know I’m hard headed so it took a while to realize all this product hopping was damaging my hair. I still revert back to my old ways from time to time. But I’ve been trying to stay away from product reviews to resist the urge.
It was a lovely Sunday afternoon. I was having dinner with my family at Olive Garden, so bread sticks and Salad was on my mind. I was in relatively good spirits. As I was playing with my niece and nephew I asked my mom what she wanted for Mother’s Day. I had asked her on a couple other occasions and turned up with nothing. So I decided to ask one more time. I wanted to get my mom something nice that she would really like because I know she had been feeling down. My mother had just found out a week ago her cancer had come back for the third time. I wanted to make her happy with the best gift. So when I asked her tell me what you really want for Mother’s Day I was completely blind sided by her answer. “I want you to straighten your hair like your sister did. Don’t you want to look nice?”
She’s not trying to be mean. I know it seems that way. In her mind she’s trying to help me. This is kinda our relationship. Whenever I get a good idea or game plan she’s usually one of the people that puts the most doubt in my mind. She’s not a risk taker. She likes everything to be safe, simple, and easy. She’s not the type to want to stand out. She thinks blending in is the best way to live a life. She does not see things the way I do so she tries to help me be the person she thinks I should be. She’s trying to help me succeed. It hurts me, but I know now after a trillion fights she gets hurt too. She thinks she’s helping me, and I lash out in anger when all she wants to do is make my life better/easier. Yes a better life can be achieved with straighter hair in her mind. I know that sounds silly but that’s who she is. As long as I’ve been natural that’s been her stance I’ve come to terms with it. I love her for caring for me so much that she’s willing to deal with our arguments just to keep trying to help me. I’m sure she had the same arguments with her mom about her fashion choices. This just how things are supposed to be.