So I’m just going to put it all out there. I had been planing to go to this meet up for a week and like in true fashion I was over thinking things and transformed into my old introvert self. I have  moments when I’m all fun and confident. Then I have times when I just can’t get my self out to be heard. In true gemini  fashion I have two personalities sometimes. So this is how my day went down. I knew that the meet up was from 5-7, and I also know I had to be at work that day at 6. I could take one train that would get me there at 4:30 or another that would get me there at 5:19. I also had to restyle my hair cause I fell asleep with out a bonnet or scarf. My hair was looking crazy,& I knew there would be people taking pics and video so I had to look good. So I went to my Pinterest board called natural hair styles and tried to find a quick cute style that would come across well on film. I decided to do twists cause that’s what I was feeling even though they are not a quick style. I knew it could take majority of my day, but I estimated if I worked on my hair from 8am to 1pm I could make the first train. Needless to say it took till about 3 because my mom kept calling me. She. Always. Gets mad when I’m doing my hair cause she thinks its weird to take so long on ones own head. She must have forgotten it use to take all of Saturday at the beauty shop when I had a relaxer. I don’t know why that’s normal to her but me taking all day. Anyway my hair was Loki g good. Parted to one side twist hanging down long. I had put clips in them to keep them form shrinking up because I had drenched my hair in aloe Vera before styling. When I was leaving the house I removed the clips and my hair was just bouncy and at shoulder length. I boarded the train and proceed to go to work and the meet up. While I was on the train  my hair was shrinking up without my knowledge. I thought my hair had dried. I got off the train and walked to the bean. As I got there I was looking around for Maya and a crowds of people. I did not see her but I did notice a large number of curly hair made up ladies sitting at the tables across from the bean. At first I thought I’m to late she left its 5:20 and that’s probably a school group on a field trip. Then I thought it doesn’t hurt to ask, and as I was about to approach the ladies one of them jumped up and screamed Maya!  I stopped dead in my tracks turned around and she was right behind me. She was late like me. Now here’s where I got kinda painfully shy. I say her inches from me and I froze scared to approach her like she was a dear in the woods that might run if I spook her. Yep I could have been the first to great her but I let  people walk past me and hug her and start talking to her. This started the trend for that meet up. I just kept letting people jump in front of me and talk over me. I felt like that guy in the movie office space. I finally got a couple of picks with her, but I hated how I looked in them. My eyes squint to much when I smile to hard. I also forgot to put on makeup on the train. I started feeling really self conches and out of place. Everyone seemed younger then me and way more put together. They were all extremely confident women that spoke up and looked gorgeous. I didn’t feel like I looked the part of a shameless maya fan. Plus my hair shrunk up and stopped looking cute in my opinion. After I took some pics with maya I looked at the clock on my phone and decided to get to. Work before I was late. So I mumbled to maya thank you I gotta get to work. It was nice meeting you, and ran off. She probably couldn’t here me because some of the young ladies in the group had started talking loud over me asking her something. I really wish I could have been the aggressive person that was screaming inside ” what is wrong with you talk dummy. I probably look weird to everyone.  At least when I posted some of the pics on Instagram Maya liked them. At least she was nice a polite. I really admire her attitude. I would like to be that out going one day soon. Cause right now the way I am has been holding me back in life. I need a change. Oh we’ll here’s some pictures.