So today on my way to work. These two young people was making fun of my hair. They thought I couldn’t here them because I had on headphones, but I had them turned down real low so I could hear the stops being called. I know it should not have hurt me because I know my hair looks good today. However; it did sting a bit. It was a boy and girl. The girl had one of those plastic looking lace front wigs on almost to her eyebrows. I felt like your one to talk. Your hair came from mettle ya broke down Barbie. You look ridiculous and have the nerve to crack on me. My hair grew out my head for free. You payed to look terrible. It hurt as you can see and it resulting in me mentally bashing a person of my race for there hairstyle choice. This is something I try to avoided. I believe in to each his own. If you can’t hang with team natural in the words of shameless Maya do you boo. Today it irked me and hurt me. I really don’t know why. I should be use to it I’ve been natural for so long. As I got off at the train station I saw so many natural sistas with big medium and small curls. I thought I’m not a minority I’m part of the new majority. So why should I care if some people don’t get it they are a small group. I still do sometime though. It’s a weird feeling to be shameless and shamed at the same time. 😦
It’s that feeling you get when you and another natural locks eyes passing in a busy place. It’s like you’re saying hi to an old friend without even saying it. Realistically you don’t know each other from Adam but its like kindred spirits. Basically your just happy to see each other in a sea of lace front wigs and strange looks. No I’m not homeless is usually the look you have to give people. No I’m not crazy. I get the same feeling when I see someone with the same car as me. We have such a unique looking car we can’t help but smile and wave. It’s like having a secret club. 🙂
This is something I’ve always wondered. What maid me think about it again today was my kinky twist extensions. As some of you know since my honeymoon I’ve been sporting kinky twist extensions. When I fist decide to do the twists I went to the nearest beauty supply to me which is like 5 min away to buy some hair. I waited patently for the sales girl to see me as I franticly waved and said excuse me. I got the feeling she was ignoring me which is a feeling I get a lot buying hair from this particular establishment. She African American and her boss is Asian so she better adjust that lazy attitude before she finds herself out of a job is what I usually think as she files her nails. So anyway as she looks at me annoyed I ask her do they carry marly hair in my color. She cuts me off before I can finish my sentence and says no we don’t have your color and goes back to her manicure. Well I just sighed and went back to my car and drove to the second nearest beauty supply which is 5 min in the opposite direction. Yeah I live around my people so beauty supply’s are plentiful. I went in and they were really nice and helpful. They showed me my color right away and I went home pleased. When I got home I was on a time crunch. I needed to finish my hair in the next 24 hr so I won’t look like a crazy person on my flight. It’s my honeymoon so I really wanted to look good without having to style my hair everyday. It was very hot where we went so I knew my hair wouldn’t behave. I also knew I wanted to protect my hair from the elements. When I opened the hair I noticed that it seemed much courser then it should be. It was not easy to brake apart or manipulate. The hair was just really stiff and rough. I had a similar situation in New Jersey with a different brand of hair. In fact there is a video on my YouTube Chanel about itWatch here. Anyway I was running out of time and that hair had to do the trick. I got it done in time and was whisked away. However I was not totally happy with the look of my hair but I just made due. Well today I was just fed up with my hair & I decided I will go get some more hair to add to make it look fuller. I was in the area of the first beauty supply so I gave them yet another try. Yes she still ignored me but when I did get her attention I picked up a pack of hair and asked is this my color cause I had forgotten. She gave me a quick curt yes. I was happy I only got one pack and moseyed on my way. When I got home I was shocked to find the hair soft and shinny. Free flowing even. This was a shock to me because I had purchased the same brand of hair. Yeah the same brand from two different stores. I don’t know what to make of it really. So I’m thinking either one store is selling an imposter or hair can expire and go bad like milk. What do you make of this situation?
So my hair has been going through some changes it seems . I’ve been natural for 6 1/2 years but for majority of the time I have had a problem retaining length. My hair has always stayed shoulder length.
In the begging I only used three products constantly. Pantene pro v shampoo and conditioner for ethnic hair, stay sof fro, and organic root stimulators olive oil. For about 4 1/2 years this is all I used. I started reading natural hair blogs and watching vlogs on you tube and I gained a new understanding for what products worked for natural hair and what didn’t. I stopped using my staple products and started my journey to find affordable products and hair styles that would promote growth . On my journey I’ve tried countless amounts of curly puddings conditioners shampoos but nothing really stuck. If it did stick it was out of my price range like miss Jessie’s or entwine couture. I usually try to find something cheeper to take the place of an awesome product.
Nothing was working well for me. Sulfate free and no suds shampoos left my hair dirty and shorter. I’ve really been at the end of my rope. I can’t finger detangle any more it just takes to much time, and with planing my wedding I just don’t have any. I stopped clipping my ends around the middle of last years cause my hair got shorter. Lately I started using some new products and developed a bad case of dandruff. I had never had such a large amount of dandruff nor have I had my head itch that bad. The products I started using was creme of nature argan oil shampoo and hair oil. With tresemme conditioner and cholesterol to maintain my color.
After I shampooed I would add the conditioner and cholesterol to my hair separately then detangle put on a plastic cap and a old winter cap and sleep in it for 6 hours.
As winter started to get into full effect my hair began to get really dry. So I decided it was time for a change. So I started using Palmers coconut oil leave- in for added moisture and I cut out the other two conditioners. Then I saw jojoba deep conditioner for sale in Walmart and I decided to give it a try. Then I was in target one day looking for some more coconut oil conditioner packs and I saw how cheep the palmers coconut oil was and I decide to try that too, and nix the Creme of nature stuff. By this time I had started to see a little dandruff and I thought it must be the shampoo. Things seemed to be getting better my hair felt moisturized and it seemed to get longer and much easier to detangle. I was happy. My hair felt happy.
Then my dumb butt decided to add another hair product to the mix. This is when things got out of hand. I started using Pantene pro v new co-wash cleansing conditioner. I liked it but the down Side was that I could scratch my scalp after I washed and still have old product build up left in my nails yuck! Then the extremely bad dandruff started.
I first notices it at work cause I have to wear all black. My work clothing looked like I had got caught in a huge snow storm and the snow didn’t want to melt. The itching was Terrible but I couldn’t ignore it I had t scratch. My hair was really unhappy and it was yelling it at me.
Recently I read an article on black girl long hair about allergies to natural hair products. Even though not all the product I was using were completely natural It got me thinking. I already have a lot of food and medication allergies. This could be a result of an allergic reaction. I don’t know why that never occurred to me before that I could have allergies to hair products. It really should have been at the front of my mind. I just thought my hair was going threw a thing or having a tantrum. So I used the last of my jojoba and cut out the palmers altogether. I kept the Pantene co-wash and reintroduced the olive oil and added taliah waajid leave in conditioner. I used this stuff some years ago and I found it to be a great replacement for the sta sof fro by soft Sheen Carson.
So far this week the dandruff stopped. It just started itching again today but that could be my nerves. I just saw the worlds biggest Rouches at work. So now I feel like something’s crawling on me every five seconds 😦 in short my hair seems happy and I can’t wait to get off work and spray down my clothes. have a blessed day.
So what do you do when you realize you’ve tried every method there is when it comes to natural hair? I realize the other day I have not learned anything new in a long time. I’ve tried everything once or twice. Some things I liked and others not so much. Today I was on a friends Facebook page dedicated to natural hair, and I notice the things her and her followers are raving about are so 3 years ago for me. It’s good for them because they are still learning about what’s best for their hair but I’ve been there done that let’s move on please. I only comment when I feel it’s needed and I’m a member of the page out of support for me friend. So far I have gotten nothing new from the group. I’m the old dude in the club so to speak. Maybe this is a good position for me. I can help out new naturals with advice, but all of them might not want to hear me. I still feel like all these years later there’s something more out there that I don’t know about my hair. I guess for now I have to be content with my deep conditioning baggy methods and tuck and roll styles till I find the next best thing.
So you decided to go natural. It seem so simple and elegant so it was a fairly easy decision to make. You did not make this decision lightly. You did all the research and watched all the YouTube tutorials you could stand till you finally mustered up the courage to do a big chop. Now your in this you’ve fully transitioned, your natural. Now what? What do I do with this mass of hair on my head. That’s when reality hit you. I have to learn how to manage my hair. I want to look nice. What hair styles work for what event and situation? I need to figure out how to look presentable by my standards and know one else’s. who am I really. Yeah it just got that deep. I know it’s just hair it does not define you, but people will try to put you in a box just because of how you wear your hair. It’s your decision of if you will let them or if you want to fit in. Even in the natural world there are these so called hair police that will try to box you in to their way of thinking. Just because you big chopped does not mean you are free from oppression. There will alway be someone out there that thinks they know what is best for all and there way of whatever is law. I my self only bow down to God and his law so if I want to dye my hair purple it my business not yours. So you want to go natural hey? It’s a journey that’s different for everyone. This is your journey no one else’s. enjoy the process, the mistakes the love affair with your coils. This is about you defining you by your standards. Enjoy!!!